Brittany's Blog

OVERWHELMED!!

2012-01-25T19:43:00.000-08:00

I am just so overwhelmed with life. I do not have time to sit here and write this blog post, but I needed a positive outlet to vent and release some built up stress because typing on here ALWAYS makes me feel better. It is 7:44pm and I am just flat out exhausted. I have so much stuff to do before I can just crawl into my warm cozy bed and drift off to sleep. I know I chose this path for myself, but I just didn't realize how demanding it was going to be. I am living life as a single mom and let me tell you it is crazy. Aaron is back in his final phase of the police academy and his schedule is so intense that I only see him on Friday evenings and Saturdays. We just seem to pass each other as he is walking out the door and I am walking in! All week he goes to work from 6:30am-1:30pm and then he has to drive to San Jose until 10:30pm. Monday, Wednesday, & Friday I work from 8am-3pm but just getting the kids up, dressed, & fed is a job in itself. Then Tuesday I am in school all day and Thursday I am in school from 8:00am until 10:00pm! Sooo incredibly psycho but I realize that there will be huge rewards for this crazy life we are living. I am so close to being done with school I can taste it. It is just hard to balance being a Mom, Wife, Student, employee, cook, housekeeper, nurse, friend, sister, etc! I am a woman of many roles and I am trying my best to live up to each of my roles/responsibilities. I just need to focus and get organized, and possibly splurge on a housekeeper just to help me out with the "deep" cleaning that needs to be done around here! I am so thankful for my beautiful boys and even though they can drive me freakin NUTS and make me want to pull out all of my hair, they also remind me why life is so incredibly precious! They are my reasons for pushing through these struggles because I want to be a positive example to them. I want to show them that you have to work hard to get what you want in life. I want them to think I am a strong woman. Life is crazy and unpredictable and I won't let it stop me.

MyTERRIBLE night

2011-12-04T08:30:00.000-08:00

Last night around 6:30 the twins and I headed to South City to meet my mother in law at her church potluck. I was an exit away when out of the blue Brayden started screaming bloody murder. I turn around and look at him and he had vomit all over him. Then he started throwing up again and then started choking. I panicked and pulled over, cleaned him up and proceeded to the church so that I could take him out of the car and clean out his car seat. After we cleaned him off, I decided to take the boys back home and loaded them back in the car. What should have been a 15 minute trip turned into a 45 minute trip from hell. I was in the fast lane when all of a sudden traffic came to a complete stop. Right then, Brayden started vomiting again and choking on it. I was panicking and helpless. I put on my blinker and tried getting over and no one would let me. I rolled my window down and made eye contact with people and told them that my son was very sick and choking and I needed help and they just rolled their windows back up and pretended they didn't see me. One lady told me she "didn't give a sh*t if my son was choking she was late for dinner!" He threw up over 5 times in the car and was going in and out of consciousness. I FINALLY made it to the shoulder and got out of the car. People were driving by cussing me out, flipping me off, and that just added to the stress of having a son that was covered in vomit from head to toe and me being unable to do anything. Finally I got back in the car and floored it on the shoulder...that really pissed people off and I was getting flack from all of them. People were pulling in front of me on the shoulder just so I couldn't drive by. Finally I saw some flares that some CHP's had laid out and I ran 4 of them over and that caused one of them to pull me over. Thank God for that because when he came over to the car and saw what was happening he moved the flares over in the street blocking all traffic so I could go ahead of everyone. It was a VERY frustrating night and it really bothered me how unkind people are. Did it really not occur to ANY of the drivers that maybe there was an emergency or something was wrong? Or what about the people who I told what was going on and they just blatantly ignored me and my pleas for help?! We live in a SICK world with a lot of heartless people. The point of this whole story is to think twice when you are on the road and see someone that needs help. Is it REALLY that big a deal of that car goes ahead of you or if that motorcycle wants to split lanes? No, its not so just get over it and let them get by. At 2am, Dylan woke up screaming and we went in there to find him covered in puke too. Gave him a bath and for the rest of the night him and Brayden took turns throwing up. We got zero sleep and we are all beat. I feel nauseous and know that this little virus is heading my way. My poor husband had to get up to go to the police academy and around 5:30am I got a call from him saying that he hit something that was on the freeway and the car is out of commission and that he was basically stranded out in the middle of nowhere. This is REALLY not the time for all these issues to be popping up. Praying for a speedy recovery for my kids and praying for financial blessings so that we can get the car back to where it needs to be! Prayers from you are appreciated too!

My Blessings

2011-11-28T18:46:00.001-08:00

Yesterday was my beautiful twin boys 2nd birthday! I planned this huge party and hired a petting zoo to come! It was crazy and chaotic but my boys truly loved it and so it made all of the CRAZY worth it! It baffles me how the time has just flown by and my boys have turned into little men and are no longer babies. I want our busy lives to just slow down so that I can enjoy them to the fullest! This past year has been one of the hardest for my family. Aaron has been out of work and our financial situation has really taken a toll on us. I planned this extravagant petting zoo party before Aaron was out of work, and my step father had to come to the rescue and pay the final balance for us because we were overdrawn. Growing up, money was never an issue for me. My Dad George had plenty of money and never let me go without. I experienced over the top trips and parties, and frequented 5 star restaurants and spas on a regular basis. Now that he is gone, I have realized that the life we lived was luxurious and that, that is not "real life." I used to think not having money meant that life was OVER. God has definitely been using $$$ to teach us lessons about life. Although I really like to have money, I now know that life isn't over when you don't have it. I have been amazed at how we have had $2.46 TOTAL in our checking and savings combined and have rent due and I look in the mail box to find a check in there. God has used people in our lives to bless us in ways that we have never expected. Although our financial situation really stresses us out and really messes with our "peace of mind" we are SOOOO blessed. Thought I would share a few reasons why I am thankful to wrap up the Thanksgiving holiday:

My husband makes a mean cup of coffee
My children are healthy
I have access to a hot shower and a toilet that flushes
I have experienced true love and have a husband and children who love me unconditionally.
I was lucky enough to get a job that pays decent in this economy which allows me to contribute to my family.
My kids are loved by many.
I have a select few of people who truly "get" me.

Terrific Tuesday!!

2011-11-08T10:45:00.001-08:00

Today is a totally random day. My husband is in San Jose taking his POST exam. The POST exam is a requirement for him to become a Police Officer so my fingers are crossed and I pray he passes! My kiddos started preschool a couple of weeks ago and because I work there they get to go for FREE! Isn't that super amazing? Do you know what it costs for a child to go to a "non-ghetto" preschool in the Bay Area? It costs a fortune and I have 2 kids to pay for!!! I am SOOO blessed!! They weren't really getting used to being there because I wasn't bringing them consistently, so their teacher asked me to bring them every day for the next 2 weeks so that they can adjust. Today I have the day off of work so I am just catching up on all of the things I NEED to get done! It is just so weird for me to be in my house all alone and have SILENCE! So I just took a really hot shower, for the first time in a long time got to take my time shaving my legs (this is a big deal for me if you are wondering why I added this detail), did a load of laundry, cleaned the kitchen, and then put some Chicken Enchilada Chili in the crock pot! My Aunt Cindy made this dish for us while we were camping in Dinkey Creek and I just fell in love! Since today is super chilly I thought it would be a perfect dinner to warm my little family up!! Here is the recipe in case you wanted to give it a try!

11/2 cups prepared enchilada sauce (read labels carefully if avoiding gluten)

2 (14.5-ounce) cans tomatoes with seasoning (your choice: I had garlic and olive oil on hand)

2 (15-ounce) cans pinto or kidney beans with juice (or 1 cup dry pinto beans, soaked overnight)

2 celery stalks, chopped

1 onion, diced, or 1 tablespoon dried minced onion flakes

1 to 2 teaspoons chili powder

1 teaspoon ground cumin

11/2 pounds chicken (thighs, legs, breasts—your choice)

shredded cheddar cheese and sour cream for serving (optional)

I just throw all of it in the crock pot and cook on high for like 6 hours! =) Then I make some corn bread to serve with it! Happy Crockin!

Life in the hospital take 1!

2011-09-27T21:37:00.000-07:00

Day 2 at Stanford!

Before his haircut, he was hanging out with Brayden & Dylan Jim's favorite son in law going to town on his hair!

The finished product! I think we look pretty good!

On our way to dinner in the cafeteria!

The past week has been a total blur for me. I literally feel dazed and confused. My Stepdad Jim is still in the hospital. He was brought to Stanford Medical Center from Fresno because apparently they are notorious for being capable of removing massive brain tumors successfully. I like that he is here because Palo Alto is only 20 minutes from my house. My Aunt Cindy has been seriously amazing. She is my stepdads sister and health advocate and she truly holds up her end of the bargain! Tonight was the first time that she has left his side, and it was to run to my house to take a shower! My stepdad is super lucky to have her. He has a VERY supportive family so he is definitely blessed that all of his siblings, his Mom, and my little brother all want the very best for him. We have been told for a few days that the head neurosurgeon Dr. Chang, will be coming by the room to chat with us. HOWEVER, he has been a no show as of now. Just got word that FOR SURE tomorrow he will visit us "mid-day". I definitely won't hold my breath...My first reaction is to be super rude because I am so irritable because I am exhausted mentally and physically and also that so many of our questions are unanswered and that his customer service skills SUCK by keeping us waiting, but at the same time I sure don't want to piss of the surgeon that is going to be cutting into my loved ones brain! =) I think I will just suck it up and be a sweetheart! I definitely feel like it is easy to get "forgotten" when you are in the hospital. None of the staff TRULY cares for you or your family like you do. This is where they work so you gotta be proactive to get stuff taken care of because this is just "their job" and they do not have any emotional attachment to your situation. Even at the so-called "best hospital" around, you gotta fight to make them take your situation personal so that they will be more apt to helping you! My stepdad has his ups and downs. He is at his best during the day and as he gets more tired throughout the day, the brain tumor starts revealing itself more and more. For example, we will have a conversation with him about how he is at Stanford hospital because he has a brain tumor. 10 minutes later he will tell you that he wants to go in the kitchen to make coffee. We have to constantly bring him back to reality and test his memory by asking him questions. My hubby brought my boys by to pay their Grandpa Jim a visit today. He also brought his hair clippers so he could give Jim a nice hair cut to prepare him for his brain surgery. It turned out really well and afterwards Jim was doing so great that we got him a wheel chair to take him to the cafeteria to eat. This was his first time leaving the hospital room!!!! You could really tell that the "real Jim" began slipping away as dinner went on. He began to get confused and we could just tell it was time to get him back into his room. He has been asleep for awhile now, but randomly woke up and told me he wanted to go into his bedroom to sleep. He got up and walked out into the hallway and I had to remind him that he was in the hospital and that he already was sleeping. Finally got him back to sleep so hopefully he will stay put and will remember where he is. I will update everyone tomorrow! Goodnight! XOXO

Stress, stress, and more stress

2011-09-23T13:30:00.000-07:00

I seriously don't even know how I have time to update this blog. I am making myself do it because I always feel better after I write and right now I am in desperate need of some stress relief. On Tuesday we found out that my stepdad Jim's brain tumor is back. When I was younger he had a brain tumor but the doctors successfully removed it. I guess it has since grown back. Over the past 3 days things have gotten so much worse...his behavior is odd and his memory or lack there of, is really noticeable. It really stresses me out and frustrates me because for months now some of us have really noticed that something was wrong but nothing was done to prove it. This morning, he fell down and wasn't found for a couple hours. Apparently he broke his collar bone or some other bones. He is in the hospital now and they are trying to figure out exactly what is broken. He might have to be moved to a different hospital because his neurosurgeon has no rights at the hospital he is currently at. I have anxiety about driving home to Fresno because it brings back bad memories about me constantly traveling to Fresno to visit my biological dad when he was dying....My hubby will be away at the Police Academy all weekend so it looks like the twins and I are making a trip. I hope they behave and don't cause too much chaos! =) To top it off Aaron's old employer called asking him to come back to work because they had "TONS" of work...so he made the switch and guess what? He has been sitting at home for 8 days now without any work...just lovely when you live check to check and you have tons of bills... I need a VACATION!

Bacon Ranch Chicken=NOM NOM NOM!!

2011-09-10T12:11:00.000-07:00

Bacon Ranch Chicken was pretty freakin delicious if you ask me! It was sooo easy to prepare and everyone in my house devoured it!!! This was one of my favorites! Here is what you need to make this amazing dish:

4 boneless skinless chicken breasts

1 cup real bacon bits

1 garlic clove minced

1 packet of ranch dressing mix

1 can cream of chicken soup

1 cup sour cream

white rice

Put chicken at the bottom of the crock pot. Combine all of the ingredients (minus the white rice) and pour over the chicken. Cook on high for 4 hours or low for 6 or so hours! After cooking the white rice separately, put a spoonful of rice on your plate and put the chicken and sauce over it! Serve with a dinner roll and salad and your dinner is complete!!!

Beef Stroganoff!

2011-09-10T11:59:00.000-07:00

I have been lagging on my crock pot posts! So on Thursday I made Beef stroganoff in the crock pot. Let me just say the meat came out AMAZING however the sauce had a "funny" taste to it. I think that the cream cheese made it taste funny, so maybe next time I will omit that or maybe just use a little of it to see how it comes out! I will NEVER make this again this way, but I will share it anyway! This is what you need and what you do:

In slow cooker, combine uncooked meat and all ingredients EXCEPT cream cheese & noodles.

Cook on low setting for 8 hrs or high for about 5 hrs. Approx. 15-20 min before serving, add the cream cheese; stir occasionally until melted. Approx. 10 minutes before serving, add uncooked noodles, push down in sauce to get lightly coated; replace lid, but stir occasionally until noodles are soft & ready to eat.

1 & 1/4 pound cubed beef stew meat

2 can condensed cream of mushroom soup (98% fat free for a healthier choice)

1 chopped onion

2 Tbsp Worcestershire Sauce

1/4 c. water (or a little more if you want saucy) I use beef broth or red wine or a mixture of both

dash of garlic salt (I use Garlic-Garlic from Tastefully Simple)

8 oz cream cheese (cut up) and 1 package of egg noodles

End result:

Good ol' Sloppy Joes, the healthy way!

2011-09-06T20:15:00.000-07:00

Tonight's dinner was a hit! I have been menu planning and am attempting to make all of this weeks dinner's in the crock pot and am blogging as I go! Sloppy Joes were on the menu tonight and everyone in the house LOVED them! The best part about it, was that they were healthy and no one even noticed! Here is what you need:

2 lbs. Ground turkey (you can use regular hamburger meat if you want but seriously the turkey is amazing and way healthier)

2 cups of white onion chopped up pretty well

2 cups of celery cut up into tiny pieces

2 TBSP Brown Sugar

2 TBSP of Vinegar

2 TBSP mustard

1/2 cup ketchup

1/2 tsp Salt

1/4 tsp Pepper

1 can of Cambell's tomato soup

1 TBSP Worcestershire sauce

Here is what you do:

Brown the first 4 ingredients in a big pan on the stove

Add all of the other ingredients into a mixing bowl and stir well

Pour the meat mixture into the crock pot and then pour the liquid mixture on top of it.

Mix well.

Cook on low for 8 hours.

I served mine on whole wheat hamburger buns after I heated them for 15 seconds in the microwave. Remember you can always tweak the recipe to meet your needs! Give it a try and let me know what you think! =)

Mexican Chicken

2011-08-30T20:47:00.001-07:00

Being a full time Mommy, wife, and student is a tough job. I like to make sure that I do all of my "household duties" before I tackle my school stuff. I chose to be a Mom and a wife before I became a student (again), so I like to make sure my family is taken care of first. Having twins is wild on its own, so I don't have a lot of "free time." I am a HUGE and I mean HUGE fan of Crock Pots because I feel like I am able to produce a hearty and sometimes pretty healthy meal for my hubby & kiddos. I use mine all the time. I decided to start menu planning for a week at a time to make sure I could save time and don't have to worry about "what's for dinner" for the fam while I am away at school. I have been gathering a ton of Crock Pot recipes from different websites and have been putting them to the test! Tonight's Menu was called "Mexican Chicken" which I turned into chicken tostadas. It was such a simple recipe and I didn't need to go to the store for anything. I had all of the ingredients on hand which was the best part! I fried my own corn tortillas for the shells and I made rice and beans on the side. (I make real beans, not canned beans, but whatever you prefer is fine!) I dabbed some guacamole on top but you can tweak it to meet your needs!) Aaron and I gave this a score of 8 on a scale from 1 to 10 and 7 year old Christian said it was the best thing he ever ate! The twins devoured the burrito I made them so it had to be delicious to them as well! Tons of flavor and super easy! Hope you enjoy!

Here is the recipe:

5-6 boneless skinless chicken breasts (frozen is fine) place in the crock pot..
dump 1 can cream of mushroom soup on top of chicken (I use low sodium)
1 cup salsa
1pkg, taco seasoning
Cook on low all day or on high for 4-6 hours
the chicken will fall apart and it is great on rice with a dab of sour cream or on corn or flour tortillas

Just call me Brittany Crocker!

2011-08-25T19:36:00.000-07:00

My little brother James Dylan whom I named my son, Dylan James after, was hired as a Kern County Sheriff! I was really excited for him because he has wanted to be a cop/officer/deputy forever! Him and his gf decided they were going to come up to the Bay from Fresno for a little celebratory visit, so I decided to bake him a cake! Although I would love to identify myself as a baker, everything I usually attempt to bake usually turns out, well...not so good. But I wanted to give it a shot and decided to bake a yellow cake with strawberry frosting! Let's just say I was SUPER proud with how it turned out! Not only did it look pretty, but it tasted pretty darn good too! Good Job Jamers! Your big sis is super proud of you, and you should be super proud of your sisters baking skills! =)

Oh Shit...literally!

2011-08-25T17:04:00.000-07:00

People who have singletons (1 baby instead of 2) don't often realize what us parents of twins go through. Take for instance my experience today during bath time. My kids love bath time and were in the tub splashing and laughing! I usually sing them a song I made up when I wash their body so that they will learn all of their body parts. It usually makes the bath time experience more fun! So anyhoo, I was just about done when they both kept saying "butt" "butt" and laughing...I brushed it off and got each kid out, (one at a time) dried them off and told them to go straight to their room so I could get them dressed. Once we made it to their room, I had Dylan on the ground lotioning him up, putting diaper on, cleaning ears etc. All the while, Brayden is running around in his birthday suit having a gay old time! Not paying much attention to Brayden while I put the finishing touches on Dylan, I look over to see Brayden squatting in the corner taking a poop on my beautiful $300 rug I have in their room! I frantically yell "No no Brayden!" and he just casually walks over hands me his diaper and says "butt yuckkk!" Oy vey...if only I could put two diapers on at the same time, we wouldn't have poop in the corner!

Budget crisis 2011

2011-08-04T19:57:00.001-07:00

So I am at the end of my Junior year at San Francisco State University. I am majoring in Child & Adolescent Development with a concentration in Youth & Family Services. One day (after my kids start elementary school) I would like to be a Youth Probation Officer or work at juvenile hall or something along those lines. But this past November, the state agreed on raising tuition at California State Universities by 11% and planned for it to take effect this upcoming Fall 2011 semester. WELL, last month the budget crisis still seemed to be an issue so whoever is on the "budget committee" voted to raise tuition ANOTHER 11%. So that is a 22% tuition increase starting THIS fall, August 22! With the classic slogan "You get what you pay for," you would think us students are getting top notch service! However, it is quite the opposite. Every single class that I need for me to stay on track for a timely graduation is full. Class numbers and class titles are being switched and we are not being notified of the changes. Teachers as well as directors of the CAD department are not being helpful and aren't returning emails or phone calls. Some classes that I need (prerequisites) are not being offered until next semester, but I can't enroll in certain classes until I take the prereqs! I am just putting in a lot of work and spending a lot of time on something that should be so easy. The cost for an education is increasing and the level of service is decreasing. Not fair to those who are really trying to better their lives! If only I could have a talk (debate) with Mr. Obama...

Random Rant take 30!

2011-07-28T16:32:00.000-07:00

I've been in a rut lately. I love my immediate family so very much, and at times I feel like the plan God has for us is kinda crazy. When people throw out the statement "You can't choose your family" it bothers me. I truly wish I could hand pick each and everyone of my family members. I feel like I got kinda screwed. I am not going to go into major detail on this one, but those of you who know Aaron and I, know our deal with the family situation. Although this is my personal blog where I should be able to share my true thoughts and feelings, I know doing so would cause major havoc that I just don't want or need. But Aaron and I have come to realize that sometimes the people who don't share your blood act more like your family than those who do. Becoming a parent made me view life completely differently than I did before I had kids. My life revolves around my children and my husband and I wouldn't have it any other way. Aaron and the kids totally complete me. We go about our lives on a daily basis without help from anyone else. We are strong people who just keep pushing through the rough patches. I don't know what we would do without each other and I feel like our struggles with the "family" is just bringing us closer together. Society makes it hard to cut out the toxic people in your life when they share your blood. Being guilted and being sabotaged to be around them when you truly don't want to and when you truly have nothing in common is just super frustrating. I used to yearn for those "close knit" relationships and bonds with my family but have come to the conclusion that it is just not meant to be. Cutting ourselves out of the puzzle and attempting to break the generational curses is what we have to do to create a safe and stable environment for OUR children. Although sometimes it is extremely painful and you want to give in because you think the people who have hurt you most have changed, we have to remember HOW MANY times they have put us through the same vicious cycle. I think the example that I had growing up is why I am the Mom that I am today. I always want to be in control and always want to make sure everyone is taken care of. I want my kids to feel loved and respected at all times and I want to raise them to be strong men who aren't afraid to express their opinions and are able to make educated choices based on the morals we have instilled in them. Sometimes Good kids don't come from Good parents and that is just a fact. But we will do our best today and always. The people we have as "family" who make such poor decisions and don't make an effort to be a part of our lives are the ones who are missing out. I have AMAZING children and they are worth making an effort for. The people who don't do what they need to do to involve themselves will be the ones who are missing out in the long run, because they can't go back in time to make up for what they have missed! Time to cuddle my boys and let them feel the love.

A clean house is a happy house

2011-07-08T20:54:00.000-07:00

I get beyond stressed out when my house is a disaster. It seems that there is always an unbelievable amount of never-ending clutter! I pick up a toy and put it away, and the babies follow me and take it out again. I get so fed up sometimes and I just say, Forget it!!! We used to be able to afford a house keeper, but lately things are just too tight. Organization in my home makes me feel at ease. I can finally sit back and enjoy doing unproductive things when my house is organized, instead of having that "guilty" feeling! Since we rent this house, there is no way we are going to invest our own money into it. Our carpet is wretched! It is brown and like 30 years old! I vacuum it every day because it always looks dirty due to its age! It is such a pet peeve of mine but our landlord refuses to update it. Our den/playroom has wood paneling (YUCK!) I would do this house up so cute if it were my own! But tonight, I am able to sit on my couch and enjoy the Giants game in my nice and clean casa! It is definitely the little things! =)

Brittany's Favorite Things-Like Oprah, well kinda.

2011-07-06T21:34:00.000-07:00

I have recently discovered something delightful. Skinnygirl Margaritas. Seriously it is super delish. I love Margaritas, but every time I order one, I end up with "bitter beer" face because it is either too strong or too sweet. But Skinnygirl is perfect. You just open and drink! It is so easy since the alcohol is already mixed in the bottle. Only 100 calories for a 4oz glass! I found this special treat at Costco for the amazing price of $10.99. After I consumed 2 bottles (with the help of my good friend Tina & of course my husband), we were in need of more. We had to settle for purchasing Skinnygirl from BevMo for $14.99 =( as I sit here and talk about my new favorite thing, I have a cocktail beside me. I just can't get enough...however, that could be viewed as a problem! Everything in moderation right?! You gotta try this, you will be in love! Xo-

RIP Caylee

2011-07-05T20:48:00.000-07:00

So I have been out of town for a few days on top of just being a busy wife and Mom, so of course Blogging has been put on the back burner yet again. But tonight, I want to let loose about something that has REALLY bothered me today:

#1-Casey Anthony Trial

When I was younger (like high school years) I lived with my Grandma Dottie. She was OBSESSED with Court TV. I mean OBSESSED. She would sit in her room all day and watch the OJ Trial religiously. She always said she wished she was a juror on that trial to persuade everyone that he actually WAS guilty of killing his ex wife Nicole Brown and her BF Ronald Goldman. We went as far as naming our dog Kato after Kato Kaelin. I have always been interested in the law, and even went to a special high school that specialized in Law, Order, & Policy. So when Caylee Anthony went missing, I watched it constantly. Her mom, Casey Anthony was a flippin liar from the get go. When they arrested her, I knew it was for good reason! I have followed the trial since the beginning (about 2.5 years) and when I knew they were reading the verdict today, I was tuned in. I thought that Jose Baez the defense attorney, was a fool. Every time I heard him speak during the trial, I thought he was just making it more clear to the jury, that his client was GUILTY! But today, when she was found Not Guilty, I was just sickened....I mean, as a Mother, this case really hit home for me. That beautiful baby girl died and at what cost? I do not know all the facts at all, HOWEVER, a fact: Casey said that the last time she saw Caylee, she dropped her off to Zeneida (Her nanny). Ummm, so it was PROVEN that there was no such nanny named Zeneida! WTF...how do you think that she has nothing to do with the disappearance of her daughter if she lied about where she was and after she knew she was missing for 30 days, she failed to report it to ANYONE and was partying like a rockstar? She slept with multiple guys, she drank like a fish, and lied, lied, and lied to everyone! She was an irresponsible-unproductive citizen if you ask me! She was soooo not deserving of sweet Caylee. So needless to say, the outcome of this case really bothers me. I hope that Casey Anthony gets some street justice sooner or later...just saying that she has to live with the death of her daughter means nothing to me at all...I mean she killed her for crying out loud! It is a sad day all across America because justice was not served. And if you have a difference of opinion in this matter, it is probably best to share it with someone OTHER than me because I feel how I feel and I think this chick should have got the chair. Tonight my porch light is on in memory of that sweet little girl. I hope she rests in peace!

$2 Tank Tops! What What!!

2011-06-27T23:19:00.000-07:00

In our house, money is tight. I NEVER and I mean NEVER buy anything for myself. My friend Julia let me know about Old Navys $2 tank top sale. I was just sitting around and didn't have anything planned, so the twinsies and I headed to check out the deal! I was pleasantly surprised that there was a huge selection and that they had my size! So I felt like it was meant to be and got 7 new tanks! I know this might be the most random post, but I truly was super excited about getting 7 tank tops for $15 bucks...it's the little things I tell you!!

Just a random RANT!

2011-06-24T20:40:00.000-07:00

Sometimes I really want to WRITE on here and I mean write like I have never written before. But sometimes I know that the subject or issue I want to discuss/vent about, will bring flack and unnecessary comments from the people the issue is most likely aimed towards! I don't even know if "these people" read my blog, but I just don't want to chance the drama. But MY blog is just that. MINE. Therefore I should be free to discuss whatever, whoever, whenever. Just sayin.

One on ONE time

2011-06-22T21:44:00.000-07:00

I don't know what it feels like to have "just one child." Besides Brayden being in the NICU for a few days when he was born, and besides Dylan's time at Valley Children's Hospital when he was around 3 months, I have ALWAYS been with the both of them. Like clock work, we put the boys down to sleep at 8pm every night, and they quickly go to bed with no hassle and no crying. Tonight at around 9pm we heard laughter and the sound of squeaking (which indicated that one or both of the kids was jumping for joy in their crib). To our surprise, Dylan was wide awake and full of energy! We quietly snuck him out of the room without waking up Brayden and brought Dylan back out to the living room. We had the Giants game on and for those of you who know Dylan, he is Momma's boy when it comes to baseball! He is a huge baseball fan and gets SUPER excited when he sees it on TV! He did a little jump, grabbed his mitt and baseball out of the toy box, and then jumped on the couch next to Dad. In fact, one of the only words he says is "BASEBALLLLL"-I am proud =) He was just sitting there, watching the game. It was so odd because it wasn't chaotic at all. Having one child awake and one asleep is something that never happens. I always see my boys together and so I never get to spend one on one time with each boy, and don't get to explore their individual personalities. We thought we would take advantage of it and so Daddy & Dylan had a mini play date with each other. The sound of Dylan's constant giggles made me feel just so incredibly happy. I love both of my boys so much, but it is fun to spend time with each one individually.

A much needed Date Night

2011-06-21T20:53:00.000-07:00

With Aaron in the academy and working a full time job, with Christian here 3-4 days a week, and with the twins here 24/7, it is a very fair statement to say that Aaron and I have very minimal ALONE time. With our schedules as busy as they are and with the lack of funds to hire a sitter, we just don't get to be "just together." So since LivingSocial ran the special for 2 movie tickets for $9 bucks, I snagged them. Aaron called his Mom and asked her if she could babysit, and last Tuesday we got to have a date night! We were so excited to just GO! We started the night off at a restaurant called B Street & Vine and had dinner and a show! The seating is very intimate at this restaurant and we had a pair of weirdos sitting next to us. It was a couple in their mid 30's and at first everything seemed normal. Then we heard them discussing each of their relationships at home with their spouses and how his wife was a B**** and her husband was an A-hole! Aaron sent me a text message that read "Ashley Madison?" He was referring to a website that is designed for people who are married that want to meet people who they would like to have an affair with! It was sooo true and Aaron and I just sat back enjoyed our bottle of wine and our yummy food and took it all in! It was a riot! Before our movie we stopped by Sweet Orchid and had some cappuchino & dessert. It was a cute little place that just opened. It was delish so I think we will go back. Finally we got to the movie, Super 8. Since it was around 10pm it was WAY past our bedtime and we had a hard time staying awake. But all in all, it was a great date night and I hope we are able to do that more often. Gotta keep the spark alive ya know what I'm sayin?! =)

Oh Father's Day.....

2011-06-19T11:12:00.000-07:00

For those of you who know me, you know that my Dad passed away in August of 2008 and we weren't on the best of terms. It is something that I think about often, and feelings of bitterness, sadness, and happiness consume my brain. I have very mixed emotions. The Downs's are known for being very opinionated, very prideful people, and being blatantly honest (which isn't and wasn't always a good thing)! You either love us or you hate us and it was to a point where my Dad and I were involved in a love-hate relationship with each other. I always think about him and miss him the most during baseball season. Watching baseball together was OUR thing...he wished I was a boy from day 1, so he naturally attempted to raise me as a "Tom-Boy!" I love the game of baseball and have always been a true Giants fan! I know that if he were here today, we would be watching all the games together. He would love the fact that my boys LOVE baseball and that they aren't even 2 years old! A few days ago, I got a package in the mail. It was from my Grandma Peggy, (My Dad's Mom). In it was a cassette tape that said: George to Brittany Started 9/20/85 and was written in my Dad's handwriting. Apparently it is a tape that my Dad had made for me, and I have never heard any of it. I don't have a cassette player, so until I get my hands on one, the contents of the tape will remain a mystery. I am sure when the time comes for me to listen to it, it will be pretty emotional stuff. Today is a bad day for me all around. I am sicker than a Dog, My husband is out of town, and I miss my Dad...I feel stuck in this town that will never feel like home to me. I yearn for the day when I can take my family to experience what it was like to grow up where I did and to be around my family and friends. Soon enough....just gotta keep pressing forward and work towards our goal. Hope you enjoy some of the pics =/

The Sick House

2011-06-18T09:53:00.000-07:00

This past week has really been a stressful one. On Wednesday morning around 3:30AM I got woken up by the sound of a scary cough coming from the baby monitor. I got up and rushed into the nursery to find Dylan sick as a dog. He was wide awake and was staring at me with these sad little eyes. I knew that it was going to be a long day since he was up at 4am and his brother was still fast asleep....People with one baby don't realize how hard it is to have one sick kid when you have twins. If I had one baby who was up sick in the middle of the night, I could easily just sleep when he does. HOWEVER, my luck would be that as soon as Dylan went to sleep, Brayden would wake up. Sure enough, this is exactly what happened. So I tried my best to cuddle Dylan because he just wanted to lay around all day, but Brayden is sooo incredibly jealous that he couldn't stand me holding Dylan. So on top of a sick baby, I had an extremely whiny baby too!!! After a long day, they finally both went to sleep and I was exhausted but was hit with a bout of insomnia! The next morning I had a sore throat, cough, migraine, chest ache, and my ears were hurting...oh and now Brayden had a 102* fever! Now, 4 days, 3 packs of theraflu and 1 bottle of children's motrin later, we are all 3 still sick as can be. And to make things worse, Aaron is gone all weekend at the Academy. =/ Seeking prayers for my family to be healthy soon!

Aaron the A-chiever!

2011-06-12T21:52:00.000-07:00

June 4, 2011-4am, Aaron's 1st Day of Academy! He didn't get his uniform shirt yet! =)
So proud of my hubby! Today was his first test in the Police Academy and he got an A!! I am soooo incredibly happy for him! He hasn't been in school for over 10 years so he is a little rusty and wasn't sure he would get the hang of "crackin the books" again! The police academy is broken up into 3 modulars BAM III, BAM II, & BAM I. The whole academy is going to take him about 2 years to finish. He is in BAM III now, and that will be over in August. BAM stands for Basic Academy Modular just in case you were wondering. This is a lot for him to take on considering he has a full time job, a wife, and 3 kids at home. This commitment is taking a lot of dedication and support from our entire family because it is a lot of work & pressure on all of us. We are all so proud of Aaron & we can't wait until he reaches his goal of becoming a police officer!! Since he leaves all weekend and has to travel to Gilroy, we were all so excited to see him when he got home tonight. We had so much fun just spending quality "family" time! Aaron facilitated a game of 'Ring A Round the Rosy" with the boys and they thought it was hilarious when they got to "All fall down!" I love my family oh so much! Now off to bed! Goodnight!

Growin up toooooo fast!

2011-06-11T11:35:00.000-07:00

I just really cannot get over how big my kids are. It seems like just yesterday I was listening to their first cries in the hospital, and they were laying on the floor not even able to turn over! Now it is a whole different story. They are constantly climbing all over everything! I can't keep my eyes off of them because they will wind up injured! At 18 months, they have more scrapes and bruising than I could have ever imagined. They are so rough with each other and it freaks me out. My husband tells me I have to let "boys be boys" but it just really freaks me out. I want to protect them 24/7 and they just don't me it possible! I went into the bathroom for like 10 seconds and when I came out I find them standing in the center of the kitchen table. Seriously? How the heck did you get up there? They are so precious...I cannot even begin to elaborate on how my heart is full of love for these little men. Every morning we have the same routine. I get up and go into their room to witness them both jumping up and down in their cribs. They jump super high too! The sound of their giggles makes me smile. I walk into the room and pull whatever one is standing up out first. I change his diaper and then get the other one out. The 2nd one to get out, always finds one of the binkies that are thrown onto the floor, and walks it over to the "other" brother, and puts it in his mouth. They do the same thing, every single day. It is so precious to me how they help each other out. I think having twins is so cool because they will always be BFF's and will always have a play mate! I am blessed beyond measure!

Blog Makeover

2011-06-11T10:43:00.000-07:00

I am really inspired by a lot of my friends and family who are up and blogging again. I figure that it is summer vacation, so I should not have any more excuses as to why I am not updating my blog. But frankly, my blog is so BLAH! I tried to revamp it by changing the color scheme, but I am still not a fan! Pretty sick of working on it so I think I am just going to let it be for a little bit. My preference on decor is usually warm earth tones but I tried to go out of my comfort zone and play with yellows and blues! I am not one to go out of my comfort zone so I think tomorrow this bad boy will be back to normal with a "safe" color scheme!!

I am a Busy Busy B!

2011-04-30T21:00:00.001-07:00

I seriously haven't blogged in forever! Blogging was so much easier when I had NO children! My schedule is jam packed! Full time student, Full time Mommy, and Full time wife!! I wouldn't change any of it though, and am very happy with how things are going these days! Just really focusing on school and am looking forward to summer vacation (starts May 20)! My hubby is a Plumber with UA Local 38 in San Francisco. He is really OVER it because work is slow with the economy the way it is. He has always wanted to be a police officer, so he is finally going for it! June 4th he starts the Police Academy! He will be gone every weekend until he finishes because he is doing the "weekend academy" that is geared towards individuals who have full time commitments during the week like WORK! =) We are going to miss him, but so proud of him too! Here is a picture from last year's Easter Bunny encounter (babies 1st Easter) and this years! =) Boy does one year make a HUGE difference!

Weekend Fun

2011-01-19T11:59:00.001-08:00

It has been pretty muggy and cold here in the San francisco Bay. We decided to take advantage of Aaron being laid off and drive to the Central Coast to hang out with my Mom and Step Dad. They brought the toy hauler and parked it on the beach at the Oceano Dunes. We had a great time playing on the beach and riding quads. The weather was gorgeous with a high of 75 degrees! I miss living there...I forgot just how beautiful it was. Hopefully one day, Aaron and I can retire there!

FATTY FOREVER! =(

2011-01-11T20:17:00.000-08:00

A new year with the same New Years Resolution: Losing Weight. Why do I struggle with this sooo much? I have been into the show, The Biggest Loser for a few years now and now I am hooked on this new MTV show called, I Used to Be Fat. The people on the show are FAT...there is no question about it. They are FAT. I look at them from my couch and I think how I don't really see that much of a difference from how I look and how they look. The point of the show is that they have a big event coming up in their life, like going off to college or something, and they have like 89 days or whatever to get to their goal. At the end they all lose the weight and they look AMAZING. I don't have the money to spend on a trainer and a nutritionist. I KNOW I cannot just "get off the couch" and lose 40 pounds on my own. I need someone to hold me accountable and I just don't have that. I hate being fat more than anything, and you would think if I hated it so much I would just hurry up and do something about it. I don't know what stops me. I am addicted to food and I am addicted to excuses. =( If I were able to lose weight, these are the first things I would do:

Buy a Pair of Joe's Jeans at Nordstrom..they are about $175 bucks and they are what I call "skinny girl jeans"

I would go to a few little boutiquse in San Francisco called Pink Lily, Ambiance, and Bebe and go nuts. (They don't have clothes for people my size)

A girl can dream. =/

Merry Christmas to me!

2011-01-05T21:04:00.000-08:00

This is my Mom! She will kill me if she sees this! LOL!

Since I am going back to school I needed to invest in a new computer. PC's have been the only computers I have EVER used and I was desperately in need of something new. I invested in a new MacBook Pro and I am trying to get used to it. It is definitely different from what I am used to, but way better! No more slow start ups, no more Norton Antivirus spyware updates, and hopefully no more problems! We have been having fun playing with the Photo Booth application! Aren't we cute?

My long lost blog!

2010-12-28T23:18:00.000-08:00

I haven't blogged in months! Being a Mom has changed my life drastically and I seem to always be doing "Mommy stuff!" But I truly miss my blog. After a post I usually feel so relieved and a little less stressed knowing that I got my thoughts out. Today I got a brand new Mac Book Pro, so hopefully having a "mobile" computer, I can be more in touch with the online world!!! So much to update everyone on! Hope you all had a very Merry Christmas =)

Lolli Cakes!!

2010-09-19T10:29:00.000-07:00

Our Halloween Lolli Cake basket!

This is our Halloween basket for $45...seems reasonable to me!!

Financially we are in a whole. Aaron works his booty off and in the end, our bills are barely covered. If I went to work we would spend over $1500 a month in child care because twins are expensive!! I am a full time Mom and part time student that doesn't get a pay check. My buddy Katrina and I have partnered up and have began making Lolli Cakes! It is a new adventure for us and I hope we do well. In less than 24 hours we got 4 orders! I am so happy and hope that our business takes off! If not, at least we have a new hobby!

I know I have been Missing

2010-08-30T09:00:00.001-07:00

My boys keep me so busy. People who have "to work" outside the home have a misconception about those who "get to stay home" to take care of their kids. I honestly think my days were way less busy being at a job outside of the home than they are now. I am blessed beyond measure to have a husband who provides enough for me to be able to stay home with my kiddos. But let me tell you, IT IS WORK! Tonight I go back to school at a program through San Francisco State University that caters to those who have full time commitments such as family or work during the day. I have my Associate of Arts degree in General Education and my goal is to obtain a Bachelor's Degree in Child and Adolescent Development with a concentration in Youth and Family Services. I am going to go every Monday from 4-10! I am eager to go but sad to leave my kiddos! But I know my awesome hubby will rock it out!

QUITTER

2010-07-26T09:09:00.000-07:00

I just realized last week that I am the biggest Quitter I know. I give up on everything that gets challenging for me. I have always tried to portray myself as the girl who finishes what she starts but that is such a lie! I think I started to realize this last week at the gym. I felt fat and gross after not going to the gym for a few weeks and was adamant that when Aaron got home from work, we were going to go. I jumped on the elliptical machine and started going hard! Usually the only thing I focus on is the time. No matter how much of the workout I have left to do, I always stop between 15 and 20 minutes. 15-20 minutes...what the heck..that is NOTHING! So I started one of the little workout programs they have on the machine and I finished it. It made me feel so good and I felt like I had the best workout ever. I gave it 100% and it truly made me feel good after wards. A few weeks ago I tried out this bootcamp class at the gym. I wanted to do something that would help me drop the pounds fast! Of course I KNEW it was going to be hard...hello, its called BOOTCAMP! So I am halfway through the class and as we are doing laps around the gym I make a b-line for the door and leave. What the heck? I just quit because it was hard. I feel like I quit at more than just exercising in my life but this revelation I had on the elliptical made me realize I need to toughen up and stick it out. I don't want to have my kids mimic me and turn into quitters too! So this week I am going to put 100% effort into anything and everything I attempt! Wish me luck bloggers!

My little fishies!

2010-06-17T09:45:00.000-07:00

While visiting my Fam in Fresno I wanted to take my boys swimming for the first time. I learned to swim at 6 months by going to the prestigious Jan Tomas Swim School. I fear that my kids will be the 6 year old sitting on the step with floaties on while the rest of the kids are swimming away! So I want to get them used to the water now! Brayden was a champ...he liked it from the get go! Dylan was a different story! He screamed bloody murder until we came up with the idea to give him a nice drink! =)

LAGGING...big time!

2010-06-15T07:58:00.000-07:00

So I had this huge goal to start eating right and to lose a bunch of weight...It all started fine and then just kind of ended...I feel like my goal is sooo far away that I just get discouraged and want to give up. The hardest part about it, is that I LOVE food and I mean LOVE it! Food is everywhere and it is such a temptation. Last night we took all of our boys to the San Mateo fair...there I consumed one Jumbo corn dog, shared a big thing of nachos with my hubby, and then got a cinnamon roll to go...WTH! My husband went to GNC last week and spent 70 bucks on a weight gainer/creatine supplement. Really? You have to pay to gain weight!! It sucks that he is trying to pack on the pounds when I am trying to shed them. Nutritionists tell him to eat more and me to eat less! So much more work being that we are shooting for two different outcomes! I just need to get back on track ASAP!

My reasons

2010-05-21T14:59:00.000-07:00

Dylan

Brayden

They make my heart melt each and every day! Thank you GOD for these AMAZING babies!

Oh the journey...

2010-05-18T21:02:00.000-07:00

I have been attempting to loose weight for 18 days now. I am still not confident enough to tell what my starting weight was, but I can say that I have lost 6 pounds. Although I have had a few slip ups with food (a late night trip to Mickey D's and a big ol' cheeseburger from Hooters)...I have done fairly well. I have been lagging big time on the exercise but tonight we went and signed up for the prestigious YMCA in our town...around here it is called the "Y" because it is quite snobby!! I am motivated to work out there because I don't know anyone so I will not feel uncomfortable at all! I am so happy because the daycare is included in our monthly rate. The classes look amazing and I am so excited to try them out!! I am going to keep pushing forward until I feel satisfied. Thanks for the encouragement!!

Oh how I want this!

2010-05-05T21:37:00.000-07:00

My next book purchase will be this book. I saw it in the window at Berean, the Christian bookstore and I want it! Have any of you heard of it?

Life Change-Day 5

2010-05-05T21:06:00.000-07:00

Well the past few days I have been out of town in Fresno visiting my family. I will tell you one thing. Having twins makes this "life Change" a very difficult task. I really cannot believe how hard it is to stay on track simply because I have two children. As some of you may know, having twins is no easy task. I can't just run to the grocery store or run to the bank. It takes about 10 minutes to put my HUGE limo double stroller together. It takes about 5 minutes per baby to take out of his car seat and snap him into the stroller. So when I was out of town staying at my Mom's house that contained ZERO and I mean ZERO foods that have any form of nutritional value...I found it hard to eat right. This led me to a breakdown. All I wanted was a freakin Subway sandwich. But I had two sleeping babies and I wasn't about to leave them in the car in the 90 degree heat...I was FORCED to go through the stupid Taco Bell drive through and get a quesadilla. I was seriously pissed. Then it set me off on the fact that healthy restaurants don't have drive throughs. What about the Mom whose husband works, who has 2 babies and is out and about? What about that consumer? I was really frustrated that I ate fast food... that let to my crying fest. Other than that, I am staying on track and am eating healthy. Still need to kick up my cardio though! Thanks for reading guys!

Day 2 of Life Change

2010-05-03T09:45:00.000-07:00

In my previous post I titled it "Day 1 of Diet"...I have decided that I am not on a diet. I am on a path to change my life!! The menu of Day two was:
Breakfast: 2 eggwhites with red and orange bell peppers
Lunch: 6inch Turkey Sand. on Wheat. Tons of lettuce,bellpeppers, cucumbers, and olives. (Subway)
Dinner: Eating Right Lasagna with Minestrone soup and salad.

Need to kick up the exercising!

Day 1 of diet

2010-05-03T09:40:00.001-07:00

May 1st was the first day of my diet. I have discovered that this is going to be really complicated considering that I am a mother of twins and a step Mom to a 6 year old! Saturday was difficult because I had my friend Tina staying with us from out of town. Although she supported my diet, she was the first one to order chocolate cookies, cheeseburgers, and scarf down candy in my presence! We had to have all 3 boys up, bathed, fed, dressed, and out the door by 8:30am (not including ourselves!) So breakfast for me was a Fiberone bar. Lunch was a skewer of grilled chicken and veggies over a bed of lettuce with cilantro lime dressing. Dinner was a tostada salad with chicken, black beans, tons of lettuce, and fresh avocado. I wanted to eat the shell so bad and desperately wanted the chips and salsa that came with! But I refused! I was proud of my healthy choices that day! Although we didn't make it to a gym, Tina and I walked a good 5 miles. I was sooo tired...we ended the day with a mani/pedi! I hope I can kick up the exercise!

Time to change my life!!

2010-04-30T09:36:00.000-07:00

On May 1, 2010 I am setting out on a challenging adventure. I am overweight (not just because I had twins 5 months ago) but because I have always been overweight. I want to be confident and proud of the way I look. Just hearing my husband say that he thinks I am beautiful is not enough. I want to feel it myself! Yes I will admit, I want people to stare and say, "Dang, she looks good!" I want to be healthy for my family. I was not raised in a household where healthy eating or exercise was important at all. Seeing how chunky my kids are at 5 months makes me want to gain the knowledge I need to teach them how to live a healthy life. I am nervous about this adventure. I am so scared. I want to be able to just set a goal, and achieve it, but I am no fool. I know there are going to be hard days and I am going to fail...well not fail...maybe back track is a better word. I know that I am going to give it all I got and I hope that I will have people around me to hold me accountable and keep motivating me to keep on trucking!! So I am going to post a before picture of how I look now. In one month I will post another one and update everyone on my stats. It scares me to give people truthful facts about my body...but I think that if I put it out there, it will motivate me to get the numbers down! I will blog about the challenges I face and my feelings of the entire event! Please keep me in your prayers guys! I am ready to change my life!

My fatties-4 months old!

2010-04-19T18:32:00.000-07:00

Moments like this are priceless! I love my beans!

Baby Dedication

2010-04-19T17:56:00.000-07:00

On April 10, 2010 my hubby and I had our boys dedicated. Everyone always asks what that is and it basically is a ceremony that holds my hubs and I accountable for raising our kids in a Godly way. (That is the very short version of it). We had carefully chose two families to be Godparents. Each would serve different meanings. We chose Scott & Mish (Scott is my cousin and Mish is his wife and my BFF) and then we chose Aaron's sister Crystal and her hubby Cameron. We could not have chose better people to support us in this journey. Both couples give us so much guidance and we are super confident that they will support our kids. After the dedication we had a ton of people over to celebrate. Our good friend Heather made two AMAZING cakes for us. Not only were they decorated to the tee, they were sooo tasty! Dylan's was Dulce de Leche and Brayden's was Berry! Get it....D gets D and B gets B??!! =) My mama made some AMAZING rigatoni with italian sausage too! So many people chipped in to help make the party a success. Thank you to everyone who helped out!

My two studs

2010-04-07T23:28:00.000-07:00

Dylan saying his nightly prayer!

Brayden in his new Baby Einstein Jumper!

Sweet Dylan

At their Grandpa's retirement party

Dilly Willy!

Sweet Brayden Boy!

I know that every parent thinks their kids are the cutest....but I really really think my boys are the best thing ever! Each and every day they learn something new. Brayden is so fascinated with his right hand and laughs hysterically when his Dad yells, "Pizza, Pizza, Pizza!" Dylan laughs all the time and gets a huge smile when we make eye contact. He laughs every time he sees his brother crying! I can only imagine how they are going to be in a few more months! I am sad because both boys are probably going to have to wear a helmet because they have deformed skulls. The doctor said at their 6 month check up they are going to be reevaluated. Please keep my little lovies in your prayers!

I am in love

2010-04-07T23:26:00.000-07:00

These are the moments I live for...

Babies 1st Easter

2010-04-07T23:16:00.000-07:00

Well my boys are growing fast and they melt my heart each and every day! Easter Sunday was a great day! We went to Church and heard a great message. We went to hang with some fam and later had some friends over. Pretty low key and thats how we like it! I love that we had all 3 boys and that the Easter Bunny came! Like always he hid the baskets in the backyard! Big brother Christian had to help his little bros out and gather their baskets! Life is good!

The good bits!

2010-03-08T09:37:00.000-08:00

This morning at 4am my crazy 3 month old's decided to scream bloody murder. I got up, warmed up some bottles, hubby and I changed them and fed them, and thought they would quickly fall back asleep. But to our surprise, they wanted to stay up to laugh and talk to each other. They would look at each other and laugh like crazy. My hubby and I couldn't help but play too. Watching your kids laugh is the best feeling ever. When they finally fell asleep, I just stared at them. They are so innocent, so pure...I feel guilty for bringing them into this crazy misguided world we live in. I only hope I will have the tools to lead them the right way. But these are the moments that I feel I have it all!

Valley Children's Hospital

2010-03-03T23:33:00.000-08:00

Well I have definitely been out of the loop lately. My son Dylan has been in the hospital for 4 days now. We are at Valley Children's Hospital in Madera, CA. I drove to Fresno on Saturday with the two boys and Sunday I decided to take Dylan in. He was diagnosed with Bronchiolitis and now has RSV. It is a viral infection that attacks the lungs. Being that he was premature and is only 3 months, this is a serious problem. I had never heard of RSV until we arrived here, and it seems to be the number one reason all of these poor sick kids are here! Usually they do not put two patients in the same room at this hospital, but since this RSV epidemic, RSV patients are sharing rooms. I am so nervous about my other twin, Brayden. He has begun coughing and is wheezing. I pray that he doesn't get this because he was the one who had serious breathing problems when he was born. Seeing Dylan in the hospital breaks my heart. I love my boys more than ANYTHING in this world and I hate to see him suffer. I want to lay next to him and just make him feel better. This is such a draining experience for Aaron and I. He drove down here from the bay, and we have been switching off watching babies. I will stay the night in the hospital with Dylan and then will hang out with Brayden during the day. I have realized that Aaron and I are fighting this battle alone. I do not like to ask for help, and I feel that we only have each other to lean on. I haven't slept in like 5 days and it is taking a toll on me. I just need some rest....physically and emotionally. I went to Urgent care today and the doc prescribed a Z-pack so hopefully it helps. Cherish everyday with the ones you love! You never know when your world is going to be turned upside down! Be thankful every day for the ones you love most.

Mayonnaise Jar & Two Beers...

2010-03-03T23:30:00.000-08:00

I got this sent to me and considering all the struggles Aaron and I are going through right now, it totally made me feel better and motivated me to go forward and strive for excellence! Just wanted to share....

Mayonnaise Jar & Two Beers...

When things in your life seem almost too much to handle, when 24 hours in a day are not enough, remember the mayonnaise jar and the 2 Beers.

A professor stood before his philosophy class and had some items in front of him.

When the class began, he wordlessly picked up a very large and empty mayonnaise jar and proceeded to fill it with golf balls.

He then asked the students if the jar w as full.

They agreed that it was.

The professor then picked up a box of pebbles and poured them into the jar He shook the jar lightly.

The pebbles rolled into the open areas between the golf balls..

He then asked the students again if the jar was full.

They agreed it was.

The professor next picked up a box of sand and poured it into the jar.

Of course, the sand filled up everything else.

He asked once more if the jar was full.

The students responded with a unanimous 'yes.'

The professor then produced two Beers from under the table and poured the entire contents into the jar effectively filling the empty space between the sand.

The students laughed..

'Now,' said the professor as the laughter subsided, 'I want you to recognize that this jar represents your life.

The golf balls are the important things---your family, your children, your health, your friends and your favorite passions---and if everything else was lost and only they remained, your life would still be full.

The pebbles are the other things that matter like your job, your house and your car.

The sand is everything else---the small stuff.

'If you put the sand into the jar first,' he continued, 'there is no room for the pebbles or the golf balls.

The same goes for life.

If you spend all your time and energy on the small stuff you will never have room for the things that are important to you.

Pay attention to the things that are critical to your happiness.

Spend time with your children.

Spend time with your parents.

Visit with grandparents.

Enjoy your 20 friendships.

Take time to get medical checkups.

Take your spouse out to dinner.

Play another 18.

There will always be time to clean the house and fix the disposal.

Take care of the golf balls first---the things that really matter.

Set your priorities.

The rest is just sand.

One of the students raised her hand and inquired what the Beer represented.

The professor smiled and said, 'I'm glad you asked.'

The Beer just shows you that no matter how full your life may seem, there's always room for a couple of Beers with a friend.

LIFE ISN'T ABOUT WAITING FOR THE STORM TO PASS...
...IT'S LEARNING HOW TO DANCE IN THE RAIN !

From the Famous words of Donna Partow

2010-02-22T19:36:00.000-08:00

10 years ago I went to a Woman's Retreat in Cambria, CA. The speaker, Donna Partow was UNBELIEVABLE! She mentioned her book, "This isn't the life I signed up for." Now, I never bought the book but from that day forward I remember thinking that whenever times got hard in my life, or I was frustrated about something....I always said to myself, "This isn't the life I signed up for." Now, 10 years later, I still remember her and use her slogan quite frequently. I just ordered the book on Amazon and hope that maybe it can provide some insight as to how I can be happy with the life I am living instead of always bitter about it.

A post to simply vent...

2010-02-09T10:24:00.000-08:00

As some of you may know, my husband and I have 17% custody of his 5 year old Christian. The court deemed that to be a fair amount. We won't get into all the details but it is fair to say that the California Family Court definitely favors the mother. My husband is a great man, and a great father. He loves his kids more than anything and has fought over and over to get custody of his son but nothing seems to work. Yesterday, Christian's kindergarten teacher tells my husband that at the rate Christian is going, he will not be going to the 1st grade. WTH! Seriously, we are so annoyed. We get Christian for such a small amount of time that we do not want to be spending the entire visit doing home work with him. His mom fought so hard for Christian because he is so "important" to her....so why doesn't she step up her game as a mom? If we had him, things would be different. He would have guidance, structure, order, and consequences. We want him to succeed more than anything. I predict that she will fight to keep Christian from us for all of these years that truly count, and then when he becomes a 15 year old out of control teenager that doesn't adapt well to rules or life in general, will send him to live with us. That is unacceptable to me. The courts need to realize that they are enabling someone to make a paycheck a higher priority than a 5 year old's life.

Baby Goodness!!

2010-01-25T19:58:00.000-08:00

There is nothing better than the smell of a baby. Fresh out of the bath tub with some baby lotion is the best! I don't think I could be more in love with anything in this world. My boys' are precious. Now that they are here, I can't imagine life without them. I am blessed beyond my wildest dreams to have not one, but TWO gorgeous, healthy, baby boys!!

Tragedy strikes again....

2010-01-23T05:28:00.000-08:00

I am awake right now, and I shouldn't be. On Tuesday night my mom, Auntie Marcie, Uncle Steve, and my Grandpa came up from Fresno. Aaron and I met them at their hotel and had a great dinner. Wednesday morning I drove them to the airport.....they have called me over and over from Hawaii to tell me about how great it is and how they wish we were there. 1:00Am text message from my mom. "Are you awake?" I respond "Yes." Twenty minutes go by and no response. I turn my ringer off because I figure they are out on the town and after me, Aaron, and the babies fall back asleep, they are going to call and wake us up! 3:59AM text message from my mom. "I have bad news." When I wake up at 4:15AM to a crying baby, I see the message and call my mom. My uncle Steve had a heart attack in Hawaii and passed away. They tell me how it happened and everyone is in shock...I just don't know how to feel or what to think. We were just at dinner....we were just on the phone! He just told me he is bringing my boys to Hawaii when they are 18! How can he be gone? How is my Aunt going to function? How is she going to be able to go into her home without him? They want to come home ASAP but Hawaiian airlines is still closed. They are going to do an autopsy on Steve on Monday, and then they will fly him home. My heart hurts....I hate death...I hate that it is a part of life. I want my Aunt to have her husband...I hate that they had to leave him at the hospital and go back to their hotel room and see all of his things....they are on vacation and should be having a great time....I am just so overwhelmed by all my thoughts....I wish I had answers...

The Lovely Bones

2010-01-12T22:30:00.001-08:00

When I lived with my best friend Jessica in college, I walked into her room one day to find her laying in her bed BALLING her eyes out. I asked her what was wrong and she said that the book she was reading, "The Lovely Bones" was soooo incredibly sad. I told her she was a weirdo and she needed to get out of the house! A few months later Jessica died in an insane car accident. While I was in San Diego for her funeral we stopped at Costco to get some flowers. While in the flower section I stumbled across "The Lovely Bones" laying in the middle of the aisle. I picked it up and remembered that she had this book and said it was great. I knew I had to buy the book because how incredibly random was it that the book she was reading was laying in the middle of the flower aisle when all the books were across the store? I felt like she was telling me to read the book. A few weeks later I began reading. It was about a girl who died. She was in heaven and her family and closest friends thought of her often. She wanted so badly for them to know that when they thought of her, she knew it. When they spoke to her, she heard them. My interpretation of the book might have been distorted due to the situation I was in at the time. But it felt like Jessica was reassuring me that when I wanted to talk to her, she heard me and when I thought about her, she knew it. Now 2010, (6 years after her passing) I broke down in tears as I was sitting in my living room alone watching tv. I saw an advertisement for a new movie, "The Lovely Bones." My heart felt heavy and I found it hard to breathe. Why now? Why bring back all the emotions I had when she died? I barely started to "really" smile again. And now I can't stop myself from thinking about our past and everything that happened every time the commercial plays. I know I am going to watch the movie. I know I will watch it alone so that I can express the emotions I want to without worrying about what others are thinking. No one knows how that book affected me, and no one understands how I felt when Jess died. I have never found a friend like Jessica, and I doubt I ever will.

Babies 1st Christmas!!

2009-12-27T20:50:00.000-08:00

This year we decided to be sporadic and drive to Fresno to be with my family for Christmas Eve, and then back to the Bay Area for Christmas morning to be with Aaron's family. Many people think we must be insane to do such a thing with month old babies, but we decided to go for it. For Christmas my hubby got me a new Volvo SUV. I am happy to have a safe, yet sporty vehicle to lug all the baby stuff as well as the babies! Things were going well for us until we were ready for bed on Christmas night. I started feeling nauseous and Aaron complained of a sore throat and a major headache. Not long after I went to bed, I was up and sprinting for the bathroom. It seems like I had the flu (which annoyes me because I got the flu shot!)...I had to basically sleep on the bathroom floor. I was really upset about the whole ordeal because I did not want to get the babies sick. Thank goodness for Mother in Laws. She rushed right over and stayed up with the boys all day and all night. She cleaned, cooked, and made bottles and fed the boys every 3 hours!! We would not have been able to do it without her. I am feeling better but have a migraine. The boys seem to be doing well, thank God! I hope that you all had a very Merry Christmas!

Long time no Blog!

2009-12-17T15:45:00.000-08:00

Well it has been quite some time since my last post. I had my boys' on November 27, 2009. I have barely had 5 minutes of alone time/peace and quiet since then. I am so exhausted but my boys are well worth it. The boys were born by C-section. Dylan James was born first...5 lbs. 13 oz. Brayden Tyler was second coming it at 6 lbs. 7 oz. That is pretty good for them being a month premature and the fact that my pregnancy was so high risk. Brayden had to stay in the NICU for a wekk. He had fluid in his lungs, and infection they couldn't diagnose, a heart murmur, and he simply wouldn't gain any weight. Now both boys are home and are thriving. You can already see that they have two different personalities. I must say I am a bit jealous that everyone says they look like Aaron. I really want them to have some of my features so people will know they are mine!! I never know I could love anyone as much as I love these boys. They are amazing and they have my heart. I feel like I have changed so much. Thank the good lord that Aaron took 6 weeks off of work. Without him here, I would seriously wig out! I have had a few melt downs but nothing serious. I really need some kind of help but all of my family lives 3 hours away. I am scared for January 4th when Aaron has to go back to work. Well I hear some grunts coming from the nursery so I guess my 5 minutes of alone time is up. I will try to update more often! Miss all of you bloggers!!

Puppy Love!

2009-11-23T15:58:00.000-08:00

How am I going to sell these? I am in love! I am a sucker for Pugs! These are two of Leila's babies!

The countdown Begins....

2009-11-23T15:02:00.000-08:00

8 months pregnant!

Not as big as I thought I was going to be!

Big Brother holding his little bros!

Holding their first pairs of shoes!

It is crazy to me that on Friday at 9:30AM I am going to be a Mom. I am not really sure if I REALLY believe it yet...it kind of seems fake. I have this big belly and yet I do not grasp the fact that two humans are in there and are about to come out. I know I feel uncomfortable and am delirious due to lack of sleep, but still. I just can't make myself feel that it is real. I am in for a big reality check on Friday morning!! I am excited but scared. I have never changed a diaper in my life. Thank God for my husband. He has a 5 year old son, and I am so thankful that he knows what to do with babies. I get so scared every time I hold one and they start to cry. Everyone tells me that I will just know what to do when they are my own and that you feel differently. I truly hope so. My hubby is taking paternity leave from work so that he can stay home and help me. I am so lucky because I do not think I could manage on my own. I am new to all of it. I can barely take care of the puppies that Leila just had!! I pray that God gives me guidance and strength through all of this. I am 25 years old and never imagined I would be having twins...let alone identical twins! Since the babies' due date is December 24 and they are coming by C-section a month early, I am not sure if they will be able to come home right away. Everyone is pretty surprised how big the babies measure on my ultrasounds and bets money that they will be able to come home right away. They are both already over 5 pounds each. But no matter what, we are prepared for whatever happens. Please keep us in your prayers!! =)

Down in the dumps

2009-11-06T12:27:00.000-08:00

Last night was such a hard night for me. The runt of the litter, whom I named Wilbur, passed away. He was smaller than the rest and was weak. We tried bottle feeding him and keeping him warm and I really thought it would help paying extra close attention to him. I snuggled him all day and really thought he was getting better. My mother in law came over to help and as she was getting ready to put him to bed, he took his last breath. I know people think I am a crazy lady for being so down in the dumps over a dog. But I seriously cannot stop crying. I cried myself to sleep last night and woke up this morning only to remember the puppy died and continued to cry some more. I bonded with that little guy...he was my favorite. I really hate he had to die.

She's a Mommy!

2009-11-05T07:18:00.000-08:00

On November 3, 2009 Leila became the proud mama of 5 beautiful baby pugs! Aaron woke up at 4am because he heard a noise and he discovered Leila had jumped onto our futon and had 2 baby boys! Unfortunately the futon along with Aaron's brand new shirt are ruined! I put Leila back in her birthing tub (Christian's plastic pool he plays in during the summer) and she delivered 3 more puppies! Aaron's mom and brother came over to assist around 5:30am! Aaron and his mom were like surgeons! They had string and tied the umbilical cords and then cut them! Leila was so tired that she was not tearing the sacks of herself, so Aaron was removing them! I told him he should become a Doctor! =) Now the puppies are 3 days old and I am in LOVE!

Halloween 2009

2009-11-02T18:52:00.001-08:00

Leila waiting patiently for the trick-or-treaters!

Our adorable Lady-Pug

Cousins: Titus, Silas, and Christian
Mario, Luigi, and the Bumble Bee Transformer

Christian at his kindergarten Halloween party

This year we decided to stay home and pass out candy because it was Christian's mom's year to have him for Halloween. We dressed Leila up in her Lady-Pug outfit, and passed out candy! Aaron and I got into a debate about the fact that he thought I was too stingy on the candy distribution and I thought he was over indulgent! I spent $40 bucks on Halloween candy and he was handing it out in massive handfuls. I took over and gave each kid 3 pieces....he said he hated trick or treating at houses like mine when he was a kid! Overall we had a great, relaxing Halloween! Hope you did too!

Prego Pug

2009-11-02T18:46:00.000-08:00

Check out how fat she got and how big her chi chi's are!!

Some of you may know our Pug, Leila is pregnant too. Her due date is November 5 and she is ready to pop! My mom's Pug, Barnard, is the father! (No it was not planned!!) It just so happened that Barnard was in town when Leila was in heat. (She only goes into heat twice a year by the way!) I am nervous that she is going to go into labor while I am at a doctor appointment or something! I pray she has a safe delivery and that she doesn't require a C-section. (That will cost over $1600 and we just do NOT have the money right now!)

One last Hoorah!

2009-10-27T10:15:00.000-07:00

My two favorite beans!

My twin fairy Mely and I

Just in case I went into labor Dr. DJ Sal was there to help!

My BFF Sandra and I aka Robyn Da Hood!

My husband was in LOVE with that mask!

I think my man is hot!

Aaron and I decided that we were going to go out for one last hoorah! before the babies' are born! Our friend Eric was having his birthday party at a local Mexican restaurant and then after dinner was over the place was to shut down into a club and there was going to be a huge Halloween party. I was down to go even though I am still supposed to be on bed rest, but my plan was just to hang out in the booth while Aaron could mingle! We had such a great time! I was a pregnant fairy and Aaron bought some cheesy old man mask that he was way too excited about! He wore the mask and his biker attire! I am glad we had one last night out!!

Scared to be a Momma

2009-10-27T10:05:00.001-07:00

Some friends of ours recently had a baby. Every time we go to visit them everyone tries to throw the baby at me. (My husband included). Not literally, but they say I need to practice and so they hand the baby to me. I absolutely 100% DO NOT feel comfortable at all! I feel like I am going to drop her, like her head is going to snap off and fall to the ground! It is inevitable that every time I hold her she screams like she has never screamed before. I instantly try to pawn her off on someone else because who seriously wants to hear a baby scream bloody murder?!?! Aaron is such a show off....he is usually the one who rescues me when she cries, and every time he grabs her she stops crying. He knows just how to hold her and just what noises to make. I know he is good at it because of his prior practice with his own child, but still. I am the woman, I should know what to do. Shouldn't my maternal instincts just kick in? I am 31 weeks and 5 days pregnant today. My boys' will be here within the next 5 weeks and I am scared out of my flippin' mind! Everyone says that I will know what to do when they are my own...but I am not so sure. Any helpful advice to ease my fears???

Poor Hubs

2009-10-14T11:30:00.000-07:00

My poor husband has been so overwhelmed and stressed out through this pregnancy of mine. He gets up early in the morning and heads off to work on top of picking up his 5 year old, catering to me, unpacking boxes, making food, redoing the babies' room, and cleaning. I feel bad that I am on bed rest and sometimes I just go against the doctors orders and clean the kitchen or make dinner for him, but it seriously drains me. I just wish my hubby could get a break before the babies come! If I had money, I would send him for a spa day! Any ideas that don't cost a ton of money on how I can show him he is appreciated??

Gap Kids!

2009-10-09T23:50:00.001-07:00

Please go to this website and vote for Christian for "Fan Favorite!" You can vote once a day! We appreciate the support!! Feel free to repost the link to help him out! =)

http://family.go.com/gapcastingcall/entries/Brittanycherise/51805838/

Baby Shower #2 South City Style

2009-10-08T11:09:00.001-07:00

Christian is so excited to be a Big Brother!

My amazing sister in law Crystal aka the party planner

My adorable hubby and I

The SLO crew came for my baby shower!

Get it? DOUBLEmint!!

My baby daddy! AKA Sperm haha

Famous Duos..the best baby shower game ever!

Oh my goodness I can taste it now...tiramisu MY FAVORITE!

I was blessed to have an amazing sister in law and mother in law to plan a second baby shower for me! It was at my mother in law's house in South San Francisco. It was so fun and laid back! As everyone came in they gave them a name tag and people had to chose a word that has to deal with babies or the birthing process. After they chose it, they were told that their new name would be the word! If anyone called them by their "real" name, they could steal that person's clothes pin! I was lucky enough to have the name "Poop" and my hubby got named "Sperm!" Christian came in and wanted to play so he was called "offspring!" (He still gets annoyed when you call him Christian...he says in a stern voice "My name is OFFSPRING!" (Too cute!) Anyway, we played some fun games and ate yummy food! My sister in law got me the best cake ever...TIRAMISU...my favorite! I have gestational diabetes but it didn't stop me! Thank you ladies for a great day!

Go Blue Sharks!!

2009-09-30T19:32:00.000-07:00

Tired after a long game!

Look at our number 2 go!!

I love that he is learning to be where the ball is!!

We signed Christian up for soccer for the first time. He really loves it! We are trying to teach him to be more aggressive! He is starting to understand the concept that it is okay to steal the ball from the other team! It is so funny watching the kids play! Some kids just lay on the ground and pick grass and some just stand there and spin! We are happy that Christian really wants to play!

Today's Frustrations

2009-09-30T17:53:00.000-07:00

I know I shouldn't sweat the small stuff at all! So I am TOTALLY NOT sweating it...but I needed a place to vent today and so I chose my faithful old blog!

FRUSTRATION #1

While I am driving to pick up my Steppie from kindergarten, a man in his 30's (who I can almost guarantee has no license or is not a citizen of the US) pulls out right in front of me forcing me to swerve into the other lane!! I throw my hands up like "what the heck pal?" He flips me off, and grabs his disability placard off of his mirror and starts waving it at me. I rolled down my window and chewed him a new one! I told him being disabled doesn't make it okay for him to drive like a freakin' idiot! He gave me the finger once again and even though I wanted to tell him what was really on my mind and show him how lovely my middle finger is, I decided it wouldn't be appropriate for my big prego self to act like that! So I rolled up my window and drove away!

FRUSTRATION #2

Doctors who cannot get on the same page. Being pregnant with identical twin boys who share one placenta make me high risk. Along with having gestational diabetes, I have a lot of doctor appointments. Today I was on the phone scheduling appointments that needed to coordinate with one another and lets just say it is a pain! Ultrasound appointments (every 2 weeks since they found out I was prego), diabetes appointments once a week, Appointments with my regular OB every 2 weeks, Digital cervix checks every 2 weeks, and last but not least, stress test appointments. Oh, did I mention that all of the appointments are at completely different places across the Bay Area? I am busier on bed rest than I was not being on bed rest. I wish that the doctors could give my hubs and I some answers. We want to know when we are delivering and how and where! Those seems to be 3 things we can never get answered!

FRUSTRATION #3

Craigslist! WTH is up with people who post stuff for sale and then you hit them up because you are interested in their item and they NEVER get back to you?!?!?! Even if it is sold, I would appreciate a quick email saying so!

FRUSTRATION #4

Is it really that hard for people to pick up the phone to call or send a text to RSVP? Or is it really that hard to send a quick email or a facebook message to RSVP? NO! It is NOT hard, people are just lazy or just simply unorganized. After planning my wedding I got a HUGE reality check about how people don't really understand the importance of an RSVP! My second baby shower is this Saturday and more than half of the people on the list have not RSVP'd.....Annoying!

Sunday Funday!

2009-09-27T20:36:00.001-07:00

Sunday always has wonderful evening time TV! Tonight two of my favorites are coming back on! Will you be watching! Oh we are oh so excited! What do you think is going to happen?!?!?

Stinkin' Cute!

2009-09-25T12:58:00.000-07:00

I love when I open a present and it is personalized. It makes it that more special to me because I feel that someone put thought into it. Today I ordered the cutest stuff from Shea! We have two little girl birthdays coming up so I ordered personalized aprons! They are too cute! I cannot wait until they get here in the mail! Then I ordered Christian a Big Brother Tee and the twins little Bro onesies! I can't wait until the boys are born so that all three of them can take some cute pics in their new clothes!

Babies' Room

2009-09-23T11:53:00.000-07:00

Rotted wood in the window seal

The colorful walls (the dark one is actually pink but it looks blue here)

The golf ball sized hole in the ugly shag brown carpet

more rotted wood

The ugly closet doors with the very bright and colorful walls

Well Aaron and I are finally moved into our new house. EXCEPT we still have a million and one boxes laying around that need to be unpacked. This house is such a mess and needs a lot of work and TLC. It sucks that we are just renting because we would love to put our sweat and our money into the house if it was OURS. Our first project is the babies' room. It is the largest room in the new house. The people who lived here before had 3 kids in the room and let them each paint a wall. We have a pink, purple, and 2 yellow walls. Not very cute! We are going to transform it into a cute little nursery!

Baby Shower #1

2009-09-14T11:02:00.001-07:00

I had the most fantastic baby shower on Saturday. My Aunt Cindy and my Mom put together a pretty awesome day for me. The shower was at Marie Callendar's in Fresno and we had a great turn out. I got more gifts than I could have ever imagined. I am definitely blessed and my boys' are already loved so much! I had the cake of my dreams compliments of Mish! She knows that I was most excited about the cake! I have gestational diabetes and have to stay away from sweets, but since it was a special occasion, I went to town! It was the best!!! Thanks to everyone who made me feel so loved!

Stress, Stress, & More Stress

2009-09-06T20:01:00.000-07:00

Do you think there is a problem with the water?

The landlord doesn't seem to think so....

We are in the middle of a move right now. I am pregnant and I cannot do much. My family is up here from Fresno to help. Let me just say this new house we have is a hot mess and everyone is in a bad mood. I don't think my husband has ever been a bigger jerk than he has been the last few days. I know he is 100% stressed to the max because of everything he is doing (and believe me he is working his butt off) but seriously....he needs to check his attitude. My husband has a serious case of OCD...so everything he does needs to be perfect. We have different priorities concerning this move which cause us to butt heads. We have ran into a few snags...the water heater is bad and the landlord refuses to think it is bad because his daughter who lived here prior to us moving in never had a problem with it. There are wood panel walls and sloppy paint everywhere. Today my mom and Step dad painted over a tacky looking green kitchen with a nice cocoa shade. Then my mom sanded down all the cabinets and repainted them so they look fresh and clean. Aaron dealt with the plumbing problems and his friend Matt and Kurt came to help. Aaron attempted to paint our room and it was hideous, so I had to come up with a lie so Home Depot would return the 45 dollar paint!! Hopefully tomorrow will go smoother. Thank God for the 3 day weekend....

Bed Rest-Day 14

2009-09-03T11:49:00.000-07:00

Well today I am not feeling so well. My back is achy and I have not been sleeping well at all which means I am extremely cranky! I cannot wait until we get a new mattress! That will be our next big purchase. I do not know what is going on with the Earth but it is hotter than it has ever been in South San Francisco. For all of you who don't know, the bay area homes do not come with air conditioners. We are living with one teeny tiny fan that frankly doesn't work worth a crap! My step dad and Mom were supposed to be driving up from Fresno today to help Aaron with the big move. Unfortunately my mom has the flu so my step dad will be coming solo. I am stressed out and frustrated that I can't do anything to help. There is soooo much that needs to be done at the new house as well as a ton of repairs and what not at our current house. We are stretched to the limit and I feel really bad for Aaron. I think the worst part of it all, is that I cannot be in control and that is something very hard for me to give up. Can you believe I just admitted that I am a control freak?? On a lighter note, yesterday I hit the 24 week pregnant mark. That means the babies are now viable. If they were to be born today they would no doubt have some major defects, but they could survive. I am happy that I made it to this point and now I am striving to keep them in another 6 weeks! I can do it if I just relax and pray about it. Did I mention we heard from the landlord?? It was a no go on the new carpet but his reasoning made me feel better about it. He just had triple bypass surgery and has been out of work for 4 months. New carpet is not in his budget right now and I understand that. He sent a cleaning crew to tackle the house and a carpet cleaner over there. I can't wait to check it out!

FINALLY-Some good news!

2009-09-01T09:21:00.000-07:00

Yesterday I went to see a new doctor who specializes in high risk OB. She checked out my cervix and said it has not shortened since they put in the cerclage! SOOO EXCITED! Both of the babies are healthy and kickin! They have both turned and are ready to come out so that kind of stresses me out because I was really looking forward to having a C-section! But I am really happy simply because now I am allowed to go to my Fresno baby shower. If the cervix would have opened more, then there is no way I would have been able to go! I am still on bed rest, but it is more of a "modified" type. I am still not going to do much just to ensure these kids stay in!

Sunday thoughts...

2009-08-30T15:00:00.000-07:00

Today I am breaking out of my house and going to my in laws who live like 3 minutes away. We are celebrating 2 birthdays. I have to go and lay down on the couch the whole time but am seriously happy to be breaking out of my house! I need a change of scenery bad.

Thoughts:

Why are these babies beating the crap out of each other in my stomach? I put my cell phone on my belly and one of them kicked it off! These boys arent even out yet and they are rambunctious!

My new landlord still has not replied to the email I sent him regarding the new carpet. UGH! WTH?!?!?

I need a long expensive pedicure BADLY! My toes are lookin' rough!

Peeve: WHY aren't people rsvp'ing to my Fresno baby shower? I just don't get it! I guess I am just so anal about rsvp'ing that I do it the day I get an invitation in the mail!

Hoping and Praying for Change!

2009-08-27T18:01:00.000-07:00

Aaron and I have already signed the rental agreement for our new place in San Mateo. Bigger house, nicer neighborhood and better weather, and WAY better schools. Our current landlord is so mellow and laid back. We fear that he new one is not the same. In my opinion he seems to fear change and seems to think that wood panel walls and chocolate brown shag carpet with stains that hasn't been changed for a good 20 plus years is suitable. We did sign the rental agreement but simply because we need more space for all these kids we are about to have! It was a reasonably priced property so we can't really complain! I sacked up and just sent this email to the new landlord! What do you think his response will be??

Hello John-

I wanted to thank you for giving Aaron the keys early. As he told you, I was admitted into the hospital so it seems as though he will be doing all of the moving and packing himself! We were discussing the house and were curious if you had ever considered getting new carpet or new flooring? We have a friend who works at Lowe's who said we could most likely get brand new carpet throughout the entire house as well as installation for under $1500. We plan on living in your house for a while and are only interested in doing repairs or upgrades that boost your property value. The conversation came up when we were discussing the fact that soon we are going to have two premature babies whose primary place to be will be crawling around the floor and we were just worried about it being clean enough and safe enough for them to do that. We really take pride in where we currently live and plan to do the same at your property. We don't want to bombard you with requests or demands, we simply wanted to throw it out there to get your feedback because we know it never hurts to ask! Hope you guys have a good weekend and hope to hear from you soon!

Thanks,
Brittany

Getting Sick of Bed rest-Day 6

2009-08-27T07:00:00.000-07:00

This whole getting NO sleep thing is really starting to irritate me. My back aches soooo much and it feels like it is just going to snap! I yearn for a new mattress. We sleep on the same mattress now that was purchased for me by my dad as I went into the 7th grade. I would say it is time for a new one. The next one will DEFINITELY be a King because I hate touching when it is time for rest. I am so indecisive about what I want....do I want a firm one or a pillow top? Ahh who knows! All I know is that I don't think the bed rest is helping out with the back pain. I day dream about being at Burke Williams Day Spa in the City! First I would have a milk bath and then I would have a Pure relaxation massage and probably add on a foot rub! I told Aaron as he left for work this morning that no matter what the cost, I WILL indeed be treating myself to that once this bambinos are born and are free and clear of any health risks. Today my caregiver comes. Aaron read the list I made for her and said I didnt sound very nice. I hope he was just being very critical and I hope she thinks I am not too demanding! I will update later to let you know how it goes! ~B

Bed Rest at Home-Day 5

2009-08-26T17:54:00.000-07:00

Today I was actually getting stuff done and being productive from my bed. I composed a list of every single credit card, utility company, health and auto insurance company, etc. and got their contact info so that I can call and change our address with each company. Tomorrow I have my first visit with the nurse/home health care aid. I was instructed to write her a list of what I need help with so I hope she doesn't think I am too demanding. I really am so thankful to my Aunt Cindy for this gift. Without her, this help would not have been possible for us and I know it is going to be a big relief off of Aaron's shoulders! I was a bit bummed out to see that the bedding and all the accessories I registered for at www.lullabylane.com are being discontinued and only have limited stock available. I really love this bedding now that I have gotten used to it. I am just torn! Do I register for new bedding or just hope for the best? I need your opinion! Look at the bedding and vote on what wall color you think would go well with it! Since I am on bed rest, I am going to have Aaron run out and grab me paint samples so he can work on the nursery at the new house! Thanks guys!

Bed Rest-Day 4

2009-08-25T20:30:00.000-07:00

Today my sister-in-law Crystal, nephew Silas, friend Katrina, and her son Alex came over to hang out with me. I enjoyed the company and hearing them talk made me forget about the fact that I am laid up here on bed rest. My amazing Aunt Cindy who is always going way out of her way for people blessed me with the assistance of a home health care aid for a few weeks until we know what is going on with this whole bed rest/cervix situation. Basically what they will do is come here 2 days a week and be here while I take a shower in case I fall and crack my head open, be here to make lunch and prepare dinner so that Aaron doesn't have to worry about that when he gets home. They will also help with laundry and light cleaning. This is going to be a HUGE help to us because Aaron is spread way too thin with working full time, being a Father, husband, house cleaner, chef, mover, etc. I feel so helpless just laying here when there is so much that needs to be done before the big move. Well my hubs just got home and we are about to watch the move Obsessed with Beyonce....until tomorrow my friends, goodnight!!

Bed Rest-Day 3

2009-08-24T18:51:00.000-07:00

As most of you know I have been diagnosed with gestational diabetes. I got diagnosed way early on during pregnancy so I have not been able to fulfill many of the cravings I have had. While in the hospital the docs decided I needed to inject myself with insulin shots so now thats what I do. But for the past week, I have been craving a zucchini walnut muffin from Starbucks like no other! Finally I said forget the stupid gestational diabetes and someone get me my muffin! My hubs goes to Starbucks pleading to the baristas that his prego wife is going to kill him if he doesn't bring home the muffin....what do you know, they are out! THEN today like a psycho I had enough. I called a gazillion different Starbucks asking if they had this muffin and they didnt! SO ANNOYING! My husband comes home at 2:45 and you know what he has??? Not 1, but 3 zucchini walnut muffins as well as a Venti Iced Nonfat Sugar Free Vanilla Latte with Decaf coffee! I am in Heaven people!!!!! He had driven all over San Francisco searching for my muffin! Isnt that a good husband??

Hospitals SUCK

2009-08-24T17:51:00.000-07:00

Here is a pic of me in my boring hospital room! Aaron brought my own blanket to make me feel more at home!

I was only in the hospital Monday-Friday. I will tell you that staying in the hospital equals getting NO SLEEP at all! The most annoying part is when the nurse comes in every 3 hours and attempts to find both babies heart beats at the same time. I could see if they were in danger but the problem was my cervix...not the babies heartbeats. As of now the babies are healthy as can be! Twin A is 14 ounces and Twin B is a whopping 1 pound! The swim around like little fish and I constantly feel movement...(mostly when I eat!) I understand it is protocol and they are just doing their job, but it is sooo time consuming and some nurses are just down right terrible at using a doppler! I am happy to be home even if I am on bed rest!

The Adventures of Pregnancy

2009-08-20T10:13:00.000-07:00

Well I have been at California Pacific Medical Center in San Francisco since Monday afternoon. I came in for a routine Dr. appt, when they discovered that my cervix had shortened from a -3.1 to a -1.8 in 2 weeks. They instantly admitted me and let me know that the following day I would be have a cerclage put in. (SURGERY on the cervix). My mom and stepdad drove up from Fresno to help Aaron out because we are in the middle of a move. I felt really bad for Aaron because on Tuesday, Christian started kindergarten and Aaron was torn between staying home with him and staying here with me. The choice was obvious because I am a grown adult and Christian is 5! Aaron just had a hard time leaving me here alone overnight. So the surgery went well and my cervix is holding up. It turns out that I was actually dialated to a 1 when they went into put in the cerclage. Unfortunatly, the spinal that they gave me prior to the surgery caused stress on my back and now I cant leave the hospital because they fear I am experiencing back labor. It is basically like regular labor except my back is experiencing most of the pain. I have been taking vicodin and that numbs the pain but as soon as it wears off, it hurts again. I pray that the babies stay in until atleast 30 weeks. I am 22 weeks today. 40 weeks is full term, but atleast if they are born at 30 weeks, they have a much better chance at surviving than they would if they were born now. Baby A is turned and ready to come out. He is putting a lot of pressure on my cervix and so in order for the cervix not to open, I have to stay on bed rest for the duration of the pregnancy. Since I have gestational diabetes, I am having a nutritionist show me how to give myself insulin shots this afternoon. (I am really not looking forward to that!) I am so thankful for all of the text messages, phone calls, emails, etc. that people have been sending. I feel bad that I havent had a chance to personally address every single person to thank them! The boys and I appreciate your prayers and will continue to keep you updated!!!

The small stuff

2009-08-16T17:07:00.001-07:00

Since I am pregnant I am 500% more emotional than usual. I am thinking about things that are completely random and am being way too philosophical for my own good. One thing that has really bothered me lately, is the fact that I just realized that most of the people I know who are full of depth and substance, have all endured some sort of major loss or hardship in their life. I was randomly looking at blogs today and came across one about this wife who lost her husband. She is raising her 7 year old son all alone. She is blogging about her life without her man and is being so open about her feelings. She talks about the little things she misses that she used to take for granted. I sat here reading on and on and just felt my eyes swell up with tears. What would life be like without my husband? I could NOT imagine it. He is my life. I am not saying we don't fight or get into the most ridiculous arguments ever, but he is still my life and I love him to death. He is laying in the other room napping with his son as we speak, and I want to just go lay by him. I do not even know that woman, but I hate that she is going through this pain. Today just really made me realize, that we REALLY should NOT sweat the small stuff.

1 YEAR AS A MARRIED COUPLE!

2009-08-04T08:51:00.000-07:00

On August 2, 2009 my hubby and I celebrated 1 year of marriage! We went to Monterey, Carmel, and Santa Cruz just to get away! We had a great time! We met eachother on August 2, 2007 and it seems like just yesterday! We have come so far and have overcome so many trials and tribulations in such a short time. I love my hubs so much and am so blessed that he chose me. Love you babe, thanks for a great anniversary! XOXO!

Growing Babies!

2009-08-04T08:37:00.001-07:00

The only pic we have of both of them together!

Baby A & Baby B

Twin A

Twin B

Twin A

Twin B's weenie!

Baby A's face! Do you see his nose and his big ol' cheek? 19 weeks 4 days

Since I am considered "high risk" I have to go to get an ultrasound and check up every 2 weeks. I love seeing the babies grow. I cannot wait for these boys to get here!

Oh reality!

2009-07-30T08:50:00.000-07:00

I have worked for as long as I can remember. Everday I would go to work and think about how great it would be to just stay at home all day. I imagined what my house would look like if I stayed home. I pictured all the dishes clean and put away, organized cupboards, floors you could eat off of, and all laundry folded and in its proper place. That is SOOO not what my house looks like right now. I am quite disappointed with myself. I stopped working April 9 and still, my house is not maintained. I am 4.5 months pregnant and soon these babies will be here. Do I really think that when they get here I am going to have the time to maintain the house the way I used to invision? I rarely have a meal cooked for my husband after her gets home from a long day at work and when I was working I would cook almost every single night! I just have absolutely no desire to get up and really do it!! I know I am on bed rest pretty much but still...you can organize while you are on bed rest. Its like one side of my brain is arguing with the side that actually wants me to get up and DO IT while the other side that wants me to just sit around and be lazy is clearly winning! Any advice or motivation for me to WANT to get up and move?

I love Weddings!

2009-07-28T07:10:00.000-07:00

On Saturday we went to my friend Melissa's wedding in Santa Clara, CA. We had a really nice time. Her wedding blew ours out of the water! It was like 1/2 the price of our wedding and the customer service level that the venue bestowed upon the guests as well as the wedding party was AMAZING! Our wedding lacked customer service and I am happy that Mely and Brian didn't have the same problem on their big day! A cute touch was that they delivered "Sweet treats" to each table! The sweet treat was a chocolate covered strawberry! It was just such a cute touch! Aaron and I cannot wait to renew our vows on our 5th wedding anniversary and actually have a decent re-do wedding! We had a great time with good friends! Thanks Mely and Brian for making us a part of your special day!

5 years since you left us...

2009-07-17T10:12:00.000-07:00

5 years ago today, my dearest and best friend went to be with our maker. I miss her everyday. I think about what life would be like with her still in the flesh. She made me smile. She made me laugh. I want to tell her I am pregnant! I want to lay in bed with her in our pj's and watch Sopranos and Sex and The City like we used to. I just really miss her and wish she was here with me. I hate remember this day 5 years ago. I hate reliving that feeling I got when I recieved the terrible phone call telling me what had happened. I won't ever forget any of it and I want to so badly. I miss having friends like her. I love you JLR and I miss you more than you could ever imagine!

Jessica Romag, 20 POWAY - Jessica Leigh Romag, 20, died Saturday, July 17, 2004, in Monterey County of injuries she received in an automobile accident.Born Aug. 23, 1983, in Englewood, Colo., she lived in Poway for 15 years. She was a summer intern for Merrill Lynch.She was a senior at Cal Poly San Luis Obispo. She graduated from Poway High School in 2001, where she was active in ASB and athletics. She was a member of Cal Poly Alpha Phi Sorority and was executive treasurer of the Panhellenic Board.Miss Romag is survived by her parents, Michael and Mary Romag of Poway; brothers Matthew Romag, David Romag and Brian Romag, all of Poway; grandparents Arnold Rayome of Port Edwards, Wis., and Paul and Doris Romag of Wisconsin Rapids, Wis.; great-grandmothers Marie Romag and Martha Kauth, both of Wisconsin Rapids; and numerous aunts, uncles and cousins.Viewing is scheduled from 5 to 8 p.m. and prayer service at 7 p.m. today, July 22, at St. Gabriel's Catholic Church, 13734 Twin Peaks Road in Poway.A Mass will be celebrated at noon Friday, July 23, at St. Gabriel's Catholic Church with the Rev. Michael Froidurot officiating. Interment will be at Dearborn Memorial Park, 14361 Tierra Bonita Road in Poway.The family suggests donations to St. Gabriel's Building Fund, In Memory of Jessica Romag, 13734 Twin Peaks Road, Poway, CA 92064, or the Jessica Romag Trust Fund, Mission Federal Credit Union, 13465 Poway Road, Poway, CA 92064.California Funeral Alternatives in Escondido is handling arrangements

The fun part!

2009-07-14T11:24:00.001-07:00

Now that we know we are for sure having identical twin boys, my hubby and I set out to do the fun part of the whole pregnancy thing! REGISTER!!! =) We had a ton of fun but were a bit overwhelmed. I realized that baby stuff is super expensive and the fact that we will most likely need 2 of a lot of items, kinda stressed us out!!! We first registered at http://www.babiesrus.com/ and then http://www.lullabylane.com/ I am nervous because a lot of our stuff is only available online! Check out our registries and give us feedback! We aren't too sure on what's good and what's bad!

Frustrations

2009-07-07T12:50:00.001-07:00

As some of you may know, I am having a "high risk" pregnancy. There seems to be one road bump after the next, and to be honest, I am ok with it. I have no expectations for this pregnancy, just high hopes. I have learned in life that if you have no expectations you will not be disappointed. So many people keep going on and on about "how" I should be acting and how I am going to "jinx" myself by having the outlook I do. I really am sick of it all. I do not want to hear peoples negative opinion. I have faith that God is going to take care of everything and all I need to do is have faith in him...whew, I really needed to vent!

4th of July

2009-07-02T13:20:00.001-07:00

I am so excited that tonight my hubs and I are driving to Clovis to hang out there for the 4th! I always loved 4th of July back home because we always have had a huge block party! This 4th of July we are planning on going to my sister's house for a big pool party! Every 4th of July I make this yummy flag cake! It is on of my favorite desserts because it isn't too sweet and it is patriotic! What does your family do for the 4th?

Not one but TWO!

2009-06-23T07:47:00.000-07:00

Last week my hubs and I went to a specialist in San Francisco to test our BABY for any genetic diseases. With this special Integrated Screening test came an ultrasound. If I wouldnt have had this test done at 13 weeks, my first ultrasound wouldn't have been until I was 20 weeks!!! Anyway, we are sitting in the ultrasound room and the lady says, how do you feel about twins?! Um excuse me, what did you say? Aaron and I had no clue that twins were even a possibility. So it turns out we are having identical twins!!! CRAZY!

My hubs is a hottie!

2009-06-18T12:10:00.000-07:00

Before: The terrible "Jesus" tattoo

The outline

He is pretending it doesn't hurt

The after tattoo

My husband is hot!

For Aaron's 30th birthday, all he wanted was money! He was adament on getting his ugly "Jesus" tattoo covered! Because I agreed it wasn't the most attractive tattoo, I surprised him with an appointment at Triple R tattoo! Triple R is an awesome shop in the Bay area that has over a 6 month waiting list! Finally, last night, Aaron got his new piece!

My husband the gardner!

2009-06-13T15:41:00.001-07:00

Aaron said he was going to go outside and "trim" the tree we have in our backyard. About 30 minutes later he came inside and said I needed to take a look. This is what I stumbled upon. No more tree and a huge pile of tree limbs!!!

The Woman Who Took My Place

2009-06-13T15:38:00.000-07:00

I was brushing my teeth and about to jump into bed when I stumbled across this!

Home sick...

2009-05-31T15:20:00.000-07:00

(I layed by the pool all alone today to have some peace and quiet and time to think) Doesn't the pool look refreshing??

On Friday I drove from South San Fran back 'home' to Fresno/Clovis. This time, I am finding it really hard to get back in the car and drive back to SSF. When I met Aaron all he could talk about it was moving away from South City and buying a house and us having a great family together. For some reason, I am thinking that is not what is really going to happen. I agreed to move to South city under the condition that it was temporary. I know he has his son there, but people make it work. I am just really whiny and complaining right now because I am down in the dumps, so please forgive me. I am not going to sit here and bash the bay area. For some people it is the place to be. But for me, it will never be home. I hate that you pay 2 grand for a tiny shack and renting is a must. It is way too liberal for my taste and I find it difficult to find people who share my similar views and beliefs. An ideal weekend for me is laying out by the pool and BBQing with friends. When can you ever do that in SSF with it always being 55 degrees? I dont want my child to go to school in South city. I want to raise them in a more conservative environment. I have so many goals and so many ideas on how I want my life to be but I am finding it hard to get my husband on board. I find it hard to make him really listen to what I am saying about what I want. How do two people come to an agreement or compromise on their future???